AAAAAAARGH

LIFE.

Greenday wrote a song called 'Time of your Life' which pretty much sums up the point I have reached in this part of my life. I have to make a lot of decisions. Everything around me is changing. Time really has grabbed me by the wrists, and if I don't make my mind up quickly enough, my decisions will be made for me...whether I miss opportunities, take them up or turn them down myself. It's scary.

 I want to be the person I am meant to be, but I just don't know who that is. Other people have no problems telling me what they want me to do. I know God has a plan for me. I have a fair understanding of what that plan is. I just don't quite know how to get there. It's scary talking to people about it.

Some of the choices I need to make really are forks in the road. I have to take one path or the other, trying to walk both at once is becoming increasingly impossible. I guess the main thing is that I need to decide who I want to become.

The Person I Want To Be

Someone who has time for everyone, even if it's only a minute or two. A person making a difference in the lives of the youth and young adults of the state, especially with Pastor's Kids. A wife and best friend to the right man. A mother. A writer. A good role model. Someone telling their story and giving the right answers to the people with the big questions. Someone Real and honest and straightforward. Someone who loves others unconditionally.

Cannot believe I haven't posted this, it's from ages ago. Here you are anyway :)

I have been learning a LOT lately, particularly about emotions, attitude, circumstances...and how they effect where you are in life. And, how you can reposition yourself in those areas to be piles more amazing! I keep seeing good examples, too... I am pretty sure I could write a book!
Parking a car the first few times ever. I don't know about you, but it was pretty fun times for me. Forget parallel parking for now even. Just getting it in one of the bays at the shops. Ridiculous. Especially on the left hand side!! I wish i could watch myself. And my facial expressions. I am surprised my driving instructor manages to hold a straight face as much as he does!! This afternoon, after one relatively....decent attempt at parking on the left, My driving instructor stopped me and said: "You know, it's all about positioning yourself! Where your vehicle is in relation to where you are going, the speed you travel at and which way you point the car!" To get to the goal destination, even to park, the way you align yourself and WHERE you put yourself to begin with are key.
You know those white gumtrees? And how they shed their bark every season? They look scrappy to begin with, but once all the loose stuff comes off, they are absolutely beautiful. But...if the tree doesn't shed all of the old bark, like in between the branches and everything, it doesn't quite have the same stunning effect. And plus, then all the redbacks and huntsmans and earwigs go and live in under the old bark. And then sometimes white ants discover the trees....not good for arborial health.
For a very long time, I have struggled with letting God take control of various areas i my life, and even though I have repositioned myself in the past and tried to change my attitude, my inability to give him TOTAL control has cost me his blessings. And now...after ages, I have finally fully let him take control. And the amazingness which he keeps blessing me with, despite quadrillions of sucky circumstances...it totally outweighs what once would have sent me nosediving into the pit of despair.