Trust me on this one.

Hello, pretty.

In the past 12 months my life has been completely flipped upside down.

It's scary sometimes, other times it's uncomfortable...

But for the most part, I wonder if it's possible to be happier than I am right now.

I'm saving the details for a post next year.

But in short, I want you to know: when an opportunity to change the way you live for the better arises, seize it with both hands and don't let go. It will be scary and uncomfortable, and even sometimes downright painful to begin with...but it's so worth taking the first steps.

Things I want to do with my life

Prompted by a conversation with a close friend today, I have decided to write down the things that I have stored up in my heart and share them with you lot. So, here you go...a nice condensed version. Each of these could be a giant blog post on their own, but I thought you'd rather no be subjected to that right now. Anyway, without further ado...

I want to write books and poetry and songs

I want to sing

I want to marry the right man and raise a family together

I want to do the things that God has called me to do

I want to travel - for missions and for adventures

I want to live in the country

I want to learn to play the guitar, piano, cello, ukulele and drums

...also lots of other things. But you get the idea.

Fragmented Shadows

I remember...
You were whole once,
Full of hope and the promise of a full life;
To find you now in pieces,
A shadow of the man you were then
Breaks my heart.

What happened?
One moment you are performing stunts,
Giving life to masterpieces.
The next, an angry fragmented image
Of the scallywag I knew.
I don't understand.

---
A friend. Someone I went to school with. He got sick overseas, nearly died...and since then he has never been the same.

Please pray for him.

A Life On Purpose

 1 Peter 1v3-12
³ All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, ⁴ and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. ⁵ And through your faith, God is protecting you by his power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see.
 ⁶ So be truly glad.^[b] There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ⁷ These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
 ⁸ You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. ⁹ The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.
 ¹⁰ This salvation was something even the prophets wanted to know more about when they prophesied about this gracious salvation prepared for you. ¹¹ They wondered what time or situation the Spirit of Christ within them was talking about when he told them in advance about Christ’s suffering and his great glory afterward.
 ¹² They were told that their messages were not for themselves, but for you. And now this Good News has been announced to you by those who preached in the power of the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. It is all so wonderful that even the angels are eagerly watching these things happen.

------
A Life On Purpose

When we give our lives to Jesus, it is not just the commitment to love Him. That is a huuuuge part of it, and it fills me with giant amounts of joy, thinking about how much He loves me and that I love Him. That's not the part of our walk with Jesus that I'm talking about right now, though. When we give our lives to Him, we also become a part of God's Kingdom: we are heirs with Jesus. Because of this we have been saved and promised an inheritance in heaven - a promise of awesomeness (in the truest sense of the word) beyond human imagination that is eternal life with Daddy God! We are to live expectantly because of this. A life on Purpose.

When you're expecting something, you usually prepare for it, right? Like a mum prepares for a baby or you prepare for exams (usually, anyway). Peter goes on through this verse explaining some ways to live purposefully, preparing ourselves for the day when we get to go and be with Daddy for ever.

Firstly, he says to be glad, despite our often retarded circumstances!!! He has all these good things stored up for us in Heaven...so even when we face the usual awkward moments of life and the persecution that often comes with living so differently, take heart. In the same way that fire refines gold, tough times here make us better and often more effective parts in the Church. Everything that we endure for His sake can be used to bring glory to God and to set others free! And don't ever forget -  Daddy in Heaven is preparing an unimaginably amazing place for you in His Kingdom.

Secondly, keep on loving and trusting Him. Everyone gets hit with doubt. those are the times when it's most important to stand strong, get more into the Bible (the BEST way to discover more about God and understand just how much He loves you and is cheering you on), and lean on Him. Doubt is one of the devil's oldest and most favourite tricks. People fall for it so easily. Remember what you have seen God do in your life, remember His promises. Keep trusting, keep loving. No matter what. (Eph 6:13-15)

Finally, as it said in the beginning of this passage - Praise Him!!! He is so good. He loves us so much. Even while we were doing stupid things and lacking His guidance in our lives, being selfish...He gave His all for us. (Rom 5:8) When we were worthless, He gave us priceless value by wiping our debt of sin away with the sacrifice of his body and blood!! He heals us and sets us free from disease, sin and condemnation!! How could you not praise Him?


There is so, so much in this passage. I'm trying to keep this short for a quick talk at youth...but 1 Peter 1 is definitely worth doing a more in-depth study on. I'll say it again - There is so much in there!! It's so good!!!

I just thought you might like to know that I have a new job! I am now a Christian Pastoral Support worker in three rural schools.

Ugh.

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. (I love the Princess Bride. So much.)
It seems that I spend an awful lot of time apologising to you all for not posting. If you're wondering what I've been up to, check this out. (Yes, I have succumbed to tumblr.) But this is the blog that I am truly comfortable blabbering on for ages sharing what I think and how I feel about things.

I feel like my heart is about to burst like a dam. Figuratively, I mean. I won't go into details. But yes. I needed to tell someone, so there you go dear followers.

Thank you for being so awesome, guys.

<3 xoxo

AAAAAAARGH

LIFE.

Greenday wrote a song called 'Time of your Life' which pretty much sums up the point I have reached in this part of my life. I have to make a lot of decisions. Everything around me is changing. Time really has grabbed me by the wrists, and if I don't make my mind up quickly enough, my decisions will be made for me...whether I miss opportunities, take them up or turn them down myself. It's scary.

 I want to be the person I am meant to be, but I just don't know who that is. Other people have no problems telling me what they want me to do. I know God has a plan for me. I have a fair understanding of what that plan is. I just don't quite know how to get there. It's scary talking to people about it.

Some of the choices I need to make really are forks in the road. I have to take one path or the other, trying to walk both at once is becoming increasingly impossible. I guess the main thing is that I need to decide who I want to become.

The Person I Want To Be

Someone who has time for everyone, even if it's only a minute or two. A person making a difference in the lives of the youth and young adults of the state, especially with Pastor's Kids. A wife and best friend to the right man. A mother. A writer. A good role model. Someone telling their story and giving the right answers to the people with the big questions. Someone Real and honest and straightforward. Someone who loves others unconditionally.

Cannot believe I haven't posted this, it's from ages ago. Here you are anyway :)

I have been learning a LOT lately, particularly about emotions, attitude, circumstances...and how they effect where you are in life. And, how you can reposition yourself in those areas to be piles more amazing! I keep seeing good examples, too... I am pretty sure I could write a book!
Parking a car the first few times ever. I don't know about you, but it was pretty fun times for me. Forget parallel parking for now even. Just getting it in one of the bays at the shops. Ridiculous. Especially on the left hand side!! I wish i could watch myself. And my facial expressions. I am surprised my driving instructor manages to hold a straight face as much as he does!! This afternoon, after one relatively....decent attempt at parking on the left, My driving instructor stopped me and said: "You know, it's all about positioning yourself! Where your vehicle is in relation to where you are going, the speed you travel at and which way you point the car!" To get to the goal destination, even to park, the way you align yourself and WHERE you put yourself to begin with are key.
You know those white gumtrees? And how they shed their bark every season? They look scrappy to begin with, but once all the loose stuff comes off, they are absolutely beautiful. But...if the tree doesn't shed all of the old bark, like in between the branches and everything, it doesn't quite have the same stunning effect. And plus, then all the redbacks and huntsmans and earwigs go and live in under the old bark. And then sometimes white ants discover the trees....not good for arborial health.
For a very long time, I have struggled with letting God take control of various areas i my life, and even though I have repositioned myself in the past and tried to change my attitude, my inability to give him TOTAL control has cost me his blessings. And now...after ages, I have finally fully let him take control. And the amazingness which he keeps blessing me with, despite quadrillions of sucky circumstances...it totally outweighs what once would have sent me nosediving into the pit of despair.

Refiner's Fire

I can say the following because I know virtually none of my wonderful followers in real life. Ah, the security that is in anonymity. Anywho.

I have been thinking.

Things you want to hurry up often take longer...and things you want to slow down, creep up really quietly and quickly. kind of like a monorail. So, it's like being stuck behind a big group of old people who are going nowhere in particular, while you are being late for the bus which has just turned the corner behind you.

So.
I am moving.
IN A WEEK.
I haven't packed, I haven't really solidly got anywhere to go.
I have turned down an internship.
I am looking for work up north.
I failed my driving test.

And amidst all of this uncertainty and rather selfish inward-looking-ness, my relationship with God has been flourishing. Maybe because He is the only really stable thing in my life now...maybe, something has finally sunk in. I like to think the latter. Two years ago I would have my head buried in the sand by now. Right now, even, it's a bit tempting to do the same. But I won't. This is one test I refuse to fail.

My patience, my trust and my steadfastness are all being tested right now with everything that's going on. but like I've been reading in Ephesians...

 I am in prison because I belong to the Lord. Therefore I urge you who have been chosen by God to live up to the life to which God called you. Always be humble, gentle, and patient, accepting each other in love. You are joined together with peace through the Spirit, so make every effort to continue together in this way. There is one body and one Spirit, and God called you to have one hope. --Ephesians 4:1-3, NCV

 It's tough. but when it's tough is when you really have to live up to who God has called you to be, it's when who you are really shows. My world is in flux, but I refuse to turn to the left or the right...I sometimes cry, but I am human and I have tear ducts. It's allowed. I don't let my situation consume me, I don't let it make me cynical or bitter or twisted. I become a better, more loving, more amazing person.

I once had this poster, hopefully I'll find it as I pack...anyway, it said:
GET A SPINE. IT'S TIME TO SHINE.
I plan on doing that.

I suppose absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I only ever seem to remember to blog when something significant happens in my life. Sorry about my absence again.

We are selling our house and moving to the Barossa Valley.

I am very scared/excited/happy.

There's a lot to tell, and I will tell it once this move is over.

That is, if I remember.

Lots of love
xo