Refiner's Fire

I can say the following because I know virtually none of my wonderful followers in real life. Ah, the security that is in anonymity. Anywho.

I have been thinking.

Things you want to hurry up often take longer...and things you want to slow down, creep up really quietly and quickly. kind of like a monorail. So, it's like being stuck behind a big group of old people who are going nowhere in particular, while you are being late for the bus which has just turned the corner behind you.

So.
I am moving.
IN A WEEK.
I haven't packed, I haven't really solidly got anywhere to go.
I have turned down an internship.
I am looking for work up north.
I failed my driving test.

And amidst all of this uncertainty and rather selfish inward-looking-ness, my relationship with God has been flourishing. Maybe because He is the only really stable thing in my life now...maybe, something has finally sunk in. I like to think the latter. Two years ago I would have my head buried in the sand by now. Right now, even, it's a bit tempting to do the same. But I won't. This is one test I refuse to fail.

My patience, my trust and my steadfastness are all being tested right now with everything that's going on. but like I've been reading in Ephesians...

 I am in prison because I belong to the Lord. Therefore I urge you who have been chosen by God to live up to the life to which God called you. Always be humble, gentle, and patient, accepting each other in love. You are joined together with peace through the Spirit, so make every effort to continue together in this way. There is one body and one Spirit, and God called you to have one hope. --Ephesians 4:1-3, NCV

 It's tough. but when it's tough is when you really have to live up to who God has called you to be, it's when who you are really shows. My world is in flux, but I refuse to turn to the left or the right...I sometimes cry, but I am human and I have tear ducts. It's allowed. I don't let my situation consume me, I don't let it make me cynical or bitter or twisted. I become a better, more loving, more amazing person.

I once had this poster, hopefully I'll find it as I pack...anyway, it said:
GET A SPINE. IT'S TIME TO SHINE.
I plan on doing that.